Saturday, November 19, 2016

11/19/16

I got a new laptop! It's so beautiful and new! It's my birthday and Christmas present from my parents and I love it so much. It's heaviness is the only downside, but I don't mind. Civilization 6 looks so amazing on it.

Today was a date day with Adam and it was lovely as always. We did a BUNCH of canoodling in the morning. I got there at 8:15 am because he told me to be at his house as early as I want. I rung the doorbell and knocked twenty times before he opened the door, but it turns out he was waiting for me since 7:55 am but couldn't hear the doorbells and knocking from his room! He gave lots of love and hugs; it was so nice~ We napped, ate at Islands, played Civ, canoodled some more, went to a music concert for my class, got Scardino's, finished Stranger Things, and watched half of Jiro Dreams of Sushi. It was a lovely amazing day that went by way too fast, as usual~ The next time I'm seeing him is maybe Wednesday, definitely Friday. I always think for a little how lucky I am to have these days with him right now because when he goes to Japan for a year, it'll be so much harder. But, my therapist told me stop thinking about the future so much and enjoy the present. She's right, of course. I'm having an amazing time with Adam and I'm grateful for every second. I still think about the possibility of Jill have feelings for him at some point because of all that I know, but in the end, he's chosen to be with me, stay with me and not her.

Tomorrow I have a lot of work to do, including a LOT of physics study and finding time for my research paper and personal statements. It won't be easy, but I have to keep going to fulfill my goals! I'll try my best to stay as motivated as possible.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

11/13/16

Sundays are usually cranky days but today I felt bad for being cranky. My mom's like me and is sensitive, so when she asked me if I wanted to go to mall with her and I asked her how long it would take and joked with my dad that she takes a long time shopping, she snapped and got upset and told us that if we didn't want to go with her then we should just say that. I felt really guilty afterwards, and started crying when she came home and apologized a million times, but she already was over it so everything ended well. I want to control my irritation and hostility because mama does not deserve it.

Other than that, I went to church and had soondubu with family and did school work and chores for the rest of the day. I started looking at my sources for my research paper and studied for my math exam tomorrow. I'm trying to find a balance with my study habits to prevent me burning out and feeling exhausted again... Two honors courses are taking more out of me than I expected! I figured that some days I would leave home later when I really need to stay in bed and rest, which is always okay. Overworking is never good for my motivation.

My birthday is coming up and here are some rough plans I have in my head:
Friday (my actual birthday):

  • Day time - celebrate with carrie, erica, erin, nina, audrey/whoever else can come to a tea place. Rides might be an issue, erica and carrie are the only ones with cars who can drive the freeway, but they both have five seaters only. But leaving out people would suck! Maybe somewhere closer for lunch instead. Afterwards, black Friday shopping?
  • Night time - Dinner somewhere with family + Adam. Restaurant limited b/c of what the price may be. Sushi is expensive, CPK was last year, Lucille's maybe? After dinner, go to Adam's and relax.
Saturday: 
  • Basically my birthday celebration with Adam. Nothing fancy obviously; there will be at least candles and a couple bath and some sweet lovin'. Maybe a date to the botanical gardens too? Somewhere nice to eat. Civ 6 probably too! We'll see what happens~

Saturday, November 12, 2016

11/12/16: Venting Thoughts

So I've decided to use this platform to vent out all my really negative feelings in my life; specifically regarding any jealous feelings in my relationship. I really want to become a cool girlfriend who won't be bothered when my boyfriend does other things or talks to other people, but it's a innate habit of mine to be skeptical or jealous, and I'm trying very hard right now to make it stop. The problem is, it'll become an issue if I tell Adam every single time I get jealous because he'll feel like I'm restraining him, when I actually don't mean to. So venting out my feelings on here and to other people along with regular meditation would help.

For today, I felt crazy towards the end of the night because I kept thinking about a girl named Lillian who commented on my photo I posted of me and Adam. It's still bothering me a little that she casually commented on my photo like she's a close friend of Adam's or something, when she's definitely not. I can tell she's not important to him, so it bothers me that she's acting like she is. I've seen her message him every now and then, but she doesn't message him every single day or he tries to talk her to have a conversation. I hope. UGH! She probably means nothing to him. I hope she realizes that. I hate these negative feelings so much. I just have to get it out and then remember:

Adam loves me.
I'm one of the most important people in his life.
Our relationship is intimate and special in another level that he doesn't have with anyone else.
He would not flirt with anyone behind my back or let anyone flirt with him.

Don't overthink things. Don't ruin things.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

11/9/16: lol

I'm so annoyed at myself right now lol. It's been almost two months since Adam's been at UCLA but I still get jealous and a little bitter whenever he goes out to drink. I was feeling a little upset tonight because he was going to a wine and cheese club. I told him I thought it would be fun but now I'm feeling... negative about it. I'm still thinking of scenarios of him meeting some new people who might pull him away from me or meeting girls who might flirt with him. It still makes me feel so weird thinking about him drink so often. I don't know why still though? I honestly don't care if my friends drink alcohol or if nina smokes weed, so why am i so bothered every time I think of Adam drinking? I think I feel so... possessive over him. I'm still uncomfortable with strangers (to me) seeing sides of him that only I saw. I feel bad now for being short with him during our call but he's too busy with other people now.
I hate these feelings I'm getting because they're so unhealthy. It's not good for either of us when I'm petty like this. I'm really trying to stop being possessive and jealous. It's still a habit of emotions for me though and sometimes it gets out of hand. I do trust him and know that he wouldn't betray that trust. I'm just still trying to keep myself together... I feel like such a mess right now. I told him that I wasn't bothered even though I was short with him and I WAS bothered. I didn't want him to know... I will just text him I guess and hope for the best that he won't make it a big deal.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

9/17/16: A Change in a Saturday

88 days until Costa Rica!

Lol today was weird. It was my first Saturday in a while that wasn't spent with Adam. It had good parts and strange parts...

I had breakfast really early in the morning with Jake and a 8 other people I know from middle school who I'm still (mostly) good friends with. Even though most of them were guys, they were still really good company. I had a really nice time talking, eating and joking around and even though I don't see Jake and them that often, it's still sweet that we still consider each other good friends and can still hang out like nothing's changed after months of not seeing each other.

Work was quick and easy, nothing monumental. I'm glad to be more working some extra hours for money, especially with my pay raise!

Other than that, I played Ace Attorney for the rest of the day and worked on physics homework. I thought it would be due tomorrow, but my professor changed the due date to Tuesday! I'm so happy~.

Not much to say about Adam today lol. Trying not to make my life all about him, even though he's a pretty big part of my life. We rabbit'd and watched Steven Universe, but towards the end of my call, he thought for some reason that I was upset at him and said bye, hung up, and then some disconnection problems happened that made me think he was mad at me and vice versa, but neither of us were upset lol. He told me he met new people today, and I didn't worry much about whether or not he met ~cool and pretty~ girls to hang out with. I know he'd tell me right away if something was up regarding that and if he doesn't... well let's just hope it doesn't come to that. I think I'm seeing him tomorrow for I don't know how long, and I'm excited to see him but he didn't seem excited about it.. It just sounded he felt like "oh yeah i'm seeing her no big deal." I hope he doesn't start taking me for granted, especially during this changing point in our relationship. I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking it though and I neeeeed to stop doing that because it gives me such unhealthy thoughts. He's probably excited but just doesn't want to express it. I hope he can do his part in making tomorrow fun!

Things I'm grateful for

  1. that due date change yesss
  2. spending time with my grandparents
  3. my cozy home

Friday, September 16, 2016

9/16/16: Gratitude and Growth

89 days until Costa Rica!

I had a really normal-ish day today. Most exciting thing that happened was that I went to my gynecologist's office for a prescription refill and their new office was so beautiful! It made me kinda butter when I went back to work though because our office is super small and bland. Other than that, I learned a lot about my vagina and pap smears, and I'm glad I did because no one in my life ever really sat me down and talked about these important things with me.

Work was crazy as usual, but I'm used to it by now and my kind(er) coworkers were there. I felt more relaxed and productive when I was done, but still pretty tired so I haven't done any school work since I got home. I kind of regret it since I have a lot to do still, but I have tomorrow afternoon free, so I'm promising myself that I'll do a lot then!

Emotionally, I've been pretty good. I've been busy and wanting to spend time by myself today, so I didn't have space in my head for negative vibes. I started missing Adam a little, but that should be normal of course! We got to talk on the phone though and have a really nice conversation, so it doesn't feel like he's disappeared from my life. I'd definitely feel upset/sad if I had to go through another whole day without talking to him again. I'm really happy our communication is good still and tomorrow we're watching Steven Universe together through rabb.it! I'm not feeling nearly as upset about being apart from him as I was when he was in Japan in 2015. This really shows how much I've been growing as a person and I'm so so so proud of myself of coming this far. Of course, I might feel worse later in the week when the number of days that I go without seeing Adam grows, but that'll force me to become more independent because I won't benefit from moping around. Either way, I'm still going to end up benefitting from this all. I'm working on a playlist for him right now~. I hope he likes it!

I'm also feeling really good because my best friends and I spent some time in our group chat telling each other how much we love each other and it made me feel oh so warm~. I'm also telling Nina everyday how much I love her lol I'm so lucky to have such precious friendships in my life.

Tomorrow I have most of the day free... I hope I can force myself to be productive...

Three things I'm grateful for:
  1. Ace Attorney 6 
  2. My dinner of pad see ew tasted so good!
  3. Watching Filipino dramas with my mom

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

9/14/16: Temporary Good-byes

91 days until Costa Rica! 

The most significant thing that happened today was that it was the last day with Adam before he moves to UCLA. I used to dread the coming of this day before, but while I was with him today, I felt nothing but positivity for our future. We spent the day running errands, going to different stores and having fun during all of it~. At the end of the day, we cuddled and stuff and by the time I had to leave, neither of us had a sad look on our faces. It really soothes me that both us have confidence that our relationship will be okay, probably more than okay, despite this change in his life. Not to mention, I wholly support him in gaining new experiences to help him grow. When I think of our relationship, I feel nothing but warmth, happiness, and hope.

Other than Adam... I've been working on physics just all week! It's been kind of fun though because I'm doing a set of challenging problems and so far I've been able to work out the right answer after some thorough thinking. The feeling of finally solving a difficult problem is so satisfying! I still have to redo the problems for practice for the exam in two weeks, but as long as I keep a steady study pace, I should be good.

Right now I'm trying to figure out how to study for the listening portion of my music exam... I have to remember at least 15 different tracks of music from different countries, but it's hard to find time to sit down and JUST listen. If I listen while doing something, I might miss out on key elements. I'm still trying to find a good balance in my study routine!!!

With that, I'm going to bed with a calm and warm heart. I've been reminded today that I have such loving friends, family, and boyfriend in my life. The hardest part of my day is waking up because I've been waking up again with thoughts of anxiety or negativity. It's a subconscious habit I think, so I'm going to meditate before sleeping to see if that changes anything.

Three things I'm grateful for today:

  1. Friends
  2. Family
  3. Adam (and Buddy)

Monday, September 12, 2016

9/12/16: What's Physics Club?

93 days until Costa Rica!

I checked my weight yesterday and somehow my weight is now 119 lbs... I guess the calorie watching for two weeks have paid off! 120 was actually my target weight, so now I can just focus on maintaining this weight and trying not to gain any. This is actually such a relief though because now I can eat a little over 1800 calories as opposed to ~1550. I can relax more now lol...

I'm spending my free time at school this week helping out my physics friends with their Mathematical Physics club. I'm sitting at the booth trying to get people interested in the club, but it's hard because a lot of people get scared away... I'm trying to advertise it as more casual than it seems and hopefully get more female members because only guys signed up for the email list while I was there :( Still, it feels good to help and my friend bought me a green tea as thanks! 

I felt kind of weak though when I left school which is weird since I are breakfast, snacks, and a sandwich for lunch. Maybe I should bring healthier foods to eat to school? I definitely need more energy foods... I felt so weak that when I got to Adam's I wolfed down two bowls of spaghetti and I was such a happy camper! 

I played for Ace Attorney 6 too and my feelings for it are kinda mixed. Of course I love it because the Ace Attorney series has always been amazing. But I'm also getting annoyed at the little things, like a bit of excess in unnecessary dialogue and how there's no option to skip through said dialogue (unless you've listened to it already, like in a testimony). Also, some of the characters make me upset but that could just be me being overly emotional! I still really like playing it and so far haven't needed a guide, but that doesn't mean it's not challenging. In the end, I'm super addicted and want to play it all day but I also have the Hanayo event to worry about ughhjfkgdf. Priorities.....

I've started trying to meditate again in the mornings and it's so good for keeping down my anxiety. I've been feeling more anxious in the morning before classes because of school and other events, but meditation has been helping me feel calmer and sleep better!!! I'm thinking of making a blog post about it on my main blogspot because it's really helping. 

Three things I'm grateful for: 
  1. SPAGHETTI!
  2. my eyeliner looked really good today lol
  3. talked to someone nice who i didn't know in my poli sci class

Monday, September 5, 2016

9/5/16: Labor Date Day

100 days until Costa Rica! 

So excited for that! Also represents the number of days I have left in fall semester, lol.

Today I had another date day with Adam because I have the day off from school (thank god). It was a normal lazy date day; I went to his house at 10 and we watched a couple episodes of Breaking Bad while he played Hearthstone and I played Love Live. That show is soooo crazy lol. Then around 12:30, we went to Original Pancake House to see if we could eat there for lunch, but the wait was too long so we bought some groceries to make hot dogs instead. Adam made them taste really delicious~. We watched Breaking Bad while we ate and then afterwards, cuddled and stuff in bed until I left at 8.

While we were relaxing, we talked a little about how Adam is moving to UCLA next week. I told him I was fine, and he seems to be good about it too, he just wanted to see how I was feeling. The only thing that made me nervous was that he wasn't sure if he was going to be coming home on the 24th, which would have been the first time I would see him after he moves in on the 15th. Obviously I'm worried because I want to know when I'm going to be seeing him next so I have something to look forward to during my week. But he's not sure if he'll be able to come home since his class schedule isn't 100% finalized and he's not sure if he'll have work or studying to do over the weekend. Along with classes, he's planning on learning how to play piano and studying Japanese. It makes me really nervous knowing that I can't plan the days we'll see each other, like, a WEEK ahead, but I told him how important that was to me and he said that he would definitely tell me ahead of time, earliest on a Thursday. I'm trying to look at the positives of this and seeing this as an opportunity to have more time to be productive in my work and me becoming more independent. I can't help but feel sad though that I only have less than 2 weeks of regularly scheduled dates with him... But, he's confident that our relationship will stay strong so I have to do my best to believe so too.

Health wise, today's foods weren't too great.
Breakfast - 3 taquitos
Lunch - 2 beef hot dogs with Frito twists (I ate pretty late at like 2:30)
Dinner - Pancit canton because I ended up not eating dinner until I came home

I didn't exercise today either, which sucks but I'm going to go on a run tomorrow after I come home from school.

For the rest of the night, I'm going to do some readings and get ready for school tomorrow. I really don't want to wake up so early just for parking if my class starts at 11! Desperate times :-(

Three things I'm grateful for today:

  1. Buddy Buddy Buddy
  2. Finishing physics homework early and now i'm not worrying about it~!
  3. Green tea

Saturday, September 3, 2016

9/3/16: Productive in Every Way

102 days until Costa Rica!

Today was a really good day. I had a date day with Adam and went over to his house at 9 and we spent the first couple hours sleeping in. Afterwards, I sat down and finished up my online physics homework, and I felt pretty good about it because I didn't need to use the solutions manual much. We watched some Breaking Bad, folded clothes, went to UPS to drop something off, got food at Rascal's. Most of the evening was spent at the mall because Adam wanted to buy new clothes for the school year and new shoes and sandals. He bought a lot of new clothes from Uniqlo and it was really fun helping him shop for new clothes. We stopped by Nature Republic and since I didn't spend that much money this week, I treated myself to a one-time use hair mask and a green tea emulsion. I have samples and the mask that Carrie gave me too, so I think I'm going to blog about it tomorrow! After the mall, we went to the park to play tennis for a good 30 minutes and it felt really good. I haven't played for a couple weeks, but I can tell that I've gotten better. We ended the day eating chicken sandwiches, eating ice cream, and watching one more episode of Breaking Bad.

I ate under my calorie goal and reached my step goal! I got over 6k steps thanks to walking around the mall. Tennis made me feel pretty healthy too since there was a lot of running around.
Breakfast: Krispy Kreme glazed donut
Lunch: Half of my sofritas Chipotle bowl and half a bag of Chipotle chips
Dinner: McDonald's McChicken

I'm becoming super obsessed with Hippo Campus and I'm having a celebrity crush on their bass guitarist, lol. I wanted to go to their concert at a music festival in Long Beach, but it's on Mama's birthday, so I really shouldn't go. Still, I hope they come to LA soon so I can meet them in person.

Adam is leaving for UCLA on September 15th, but I'm not worried about it anymore. When I think about it, I don't feel anxious because I know he'll be faithful. I can trust that he'd never cheat on me, and we will still see each other and talk to each other enough to keep our relationship going well. Even right now, we can talk about it with ease and have incredibly fun times together. He makes me so happy and I have high hopes for us in the future~

Sunday, August 28, 2016

8/28/16: Getting Ready for School

108 days until Costa Rica!

Pretty normal Sunday today. I was pretty productive and finished folding clothes and put in a new load of laundry. Then I got my bag ready for tomorrow, filled it with notebooks, folder and paper. Afterwards I went for a brisk 45 minute walk around the neighborhood to get some exercise and steps. I ran into Sam while walking and chatted with her for a bit. I don't know why but talking to her sometimes is awkward, but it's always super nice to see her. She's always very sweet and kind~

For lunch today, my family took us to a barbecue restaurant called Dickey's and there I had 4 ounces of marinated chicken and a cup of Caesar salad and potato salad. I had some calories left over, so I ate a little bit of the free vanilla soft serve they had. For dinner, I had some pork, half a cup of green papayas, some oysters, and some watermelon cubes for dessert. 30 minutes after dinner, I went for a 5 minute run to get my goal of over 6k steps and it felt really good! I ended up having 300 calories leftover, so I ate two chocolate chip cookies as a treat. Pretty good meals today! Not sure what to have for lunch and dinner tomorrow, though. I think I'll make a toasted bagel sandwich and bring a protein bar and edamame chips to school. For dinner, hopefully Adam's leftover burrito from Mex Riv is still there and I can eat that. I'll bring salad and Coco Ichibanya dressing too. Maybe I'll have time to make dumplings if I do my make up in the car.

I'm feeling excited for school tomorrow, actually. I'm not excited that I have to get to school at 8 just to get parking, but I'm excited to be productive and have work to do again. Tomorrow is political science and multi-variable calculus, so it should be easy. I think I have a friend in calculus, but not so sure about poli sci! Still, I heard the professor is hot so I'm kind of excited.

Three things I'm grateful for today:

  1. Ace Attorney music
  2. Peaceful walks
  3. Old Spongebob episodes

Saturday, August 27, 2016

8/27/16: Better Pasta

109 Days until Costa Rica!

Today was another date day with Adam and the last one before school starts. I felt a little bit sad, but not so much because we're seeing each other on Monday after my classes are over heheh. We spent the first couple hours sleeping and then we watched a few episodes of Jane the Virgin before going to lunch. We went to a nearby Mexican restaurant and I got chicken taquitos with tortilla soup and a salad and it was mostly good except for the fact that the salad was literally a pile of shredded iceberg lettuce with a little bit of shredded cheese and tomatoes. Still, the whole meal tasted really good and was low in calories!

The rest of the day we relaxed and binge watched Jane the Virgin while Adam played WoW and I played Ace Attorney and it was pretty nice. We took Buddy out for a walk and took him to Adam's old middle school's big field. It was so cute watching Buddy run around! We chased him and let him wander around for a while and then went back home.

One of the highlights was that we got take out from Scardino's for dinner and even just their marinara pasta and pepperoni pizza tasted so amazing! I was a little tired of the sauce I was making this week (even though I made it taste really good yesterday), so higher quality pasta made my night. That+pizza+Jane the Virgin+Adam made for such a nice night~

Then we had "fun times" after dinner and then watched Spongebob clips until I had to go home lol. Most of the clips made us laugh really hard and now I wanna rewatch all the old school episodes. The date day was really fast but still really nice!

Monday is coming up and I've decided to go to school at 8 for guaranteed parking. I'm probably going to have to do this for two weeks because of the start of the school year. It'll give me time to study in the morning but I don't want to wake up that early, especially when my class doesn't start until 11... Either way I'm not too nervous about it. I'm a little excited, even.

Three Things I'm Grateful For:

  1. Watching Jane the Virgin with Adam 
  2. All the pasta I got to eat this week 
  3. Playing with Buddy out in the field 

Friday, August 26, 2016

8/26/16: Lost Weight & Anxiety

110 Days until Costa Rica!

Hehe, pretty nice huh? I'm going to start doing that to help me stay motivated during the semester and to help keep me on track with saving money.

So Adam and I officially locked down our choices for activities during Costa Rica. We are going to do an Arenal Volcano and Rainforest Hike as well as a Cortez Waterfall tour. The Arenal Volcano one leads to a hot springs, which is the main reason why I wanted to do it and the waterfall tour lets us swim in the actual falls! I'm so excited, but I need to make sure to make sure I save more than $36 every two weeks. The budgeting and extra work I'm doing should help. Not to mention I have extra money in my checking account which I'm storing for the trip. 

Today was a date day with Adam and it was very nice! Mostly relaxing because Adam was still exhausted from spending the whole day at UCLA while only getting 3 hours of sleep. We mostly had "fun times," played video games, and watched Jane the Virgin season 2 which just came out on Netflix!!! 

I also had an appointment with Dr. Bassi. I had a pretty good session, my situation these past couple of months have been very good. I'm successful in school, I have loyal friends and family, and my relationship with Adam is trusting and healthy. We talked about Adam and agreed that if the worst case scenario happens where Adam meets someone he's more interested in than me, he wouldn't cheat on me and would instead be honest and let me know. It's not a pleasant thought to have, but it's good knowing that our relationship is healthy enough that I can believe in him in this way. She's very proud of me and I'm so happy that I work well with her. I've heard a lot of stories of people having trouble with finding a therapist that works for them, so I feel very fortunate to be able to progress so well with Dr. Bassi. Every time I have a session with her, I feel more inspired and motivated to do my best and live in the moment. 

I weighed myself today and I weigh... 120.4 lbs! The scale read 120.9, so I took off 0.5 lbs to account for my pajamas. I am so surprised to see how much weight I lost since my last weigh in a couple of months ago! I'm hoping I can maintain this weight and maybe even lose more. 

My meals for today were: 
Breakfast - 2 mini bran muffins and 1 light string cheese
Lunch - spaghetti made out of 2/7 (about) box of fettuccine noodles, 1/2 a cup of traditional spaghetti sauce, and seasoning and red pepper flakes for flavor. 
Dinner - the same as lunch, except twice the amount because I still had 1000+ calories left to eat. 
Snacks - hot chocolate made with hot water. 

I think my meals were pretty good today because of the servings of fruit and veg in the sauce, but tomorrow I want to have less carbs. I'm going to bring some leafy greens to Adam's tomorrow to eat some salad because I still have my Coco Ichibanya dressing.

Overall, it was a pretty good day. Nothing special happened, but time passes so quickly whenever I'm with him. Sometimes it scares me because I want to treasure every single moment that we have together.

Three things I'm grateful for today:

  1. How well my pasta sauce turned out
  2. Buddy dog being a cutie as always
  3. Jane the Virgin! It's seriously one of my favorite shows now 

Thursday, August 25, 2016

8/25/2016: A Stressful Payday

The only really interesting thing that happened today was work. I had to help work the front office because we only had three people (other than the doctor) in the office and one of us was helping with the patients. I was running back and forth answering calls and completing tasks and messages, but time passed by really quickly! Today was also payday and I was originally going to drive to the other office to pick it up after my shift was over. However, my aunt/boss told us that she worked on them early, so I went with one of my coworkers to pick it up. We had an hour and we were still late because of traffic and getting gas lol I got pretty stressed... But my aunt who's a doctor was there and was very sweet to me~. I got paid in the end and went home around the same time. I got $100 from the 10 hours I worked during the last two weeks of school. That's more than usual and this weeks budget looks better now! However... I forgot that I need to save up money for activities in Costa Rica in December. I looked over it and the two that I definitely want to do cost in total $280. My total profits from these past two weeks are about $38. So... If I keep up the same budgeting habits while working a bit more and saving better, then I can have at least $380 in 20 weeks/5 month, which is just what I need! I just need to not indulge in any skincare products or Liz Lisa...

It's hard though because I just found a website of a girl who is selling old Liz Lisa clothes at really reasonable prices. I saw a good dress for only $28. Hopefully once I have more than enough money I can treat myself to one. I found the website through a girl I follow on Twitter and saw that she wears Liz Lisa which bothered me for some reason? Idk, she likes J-Fashion too but I always thought I was different from her by focusing on the hime-gyaru style. It's pretty bad and petty for me to feel this way though. It should be fine for others to be interested in Liz Lisa too.

Fitness wise, I didn't get as many steps as I would have liked today. I didn't walk anywhere and I was tired after work so I was loafing around for a few hours, so an hour after dinner I went for a short run around the community and did 0.7 miles (with a little bit of walking). It was hard, but it felt good! I definitely like night runs more than daytime runs since it's less hot and I'm not getting anymore tan. I have a total of about 3500 steps today and was able to stay under my calorie goal. Tomorrow I'm going to weight myself before breakfast and see where I'm at... I'm going to subtract 1-2 lbs for clothes of course, but I'm still nervous to see how my weight is. My goal by December is 120 lbs along with a higher stamina and healthier lifestyle.

I'm spending the rest of the night playing Miles Edgeworth Investigations because I finally found it and I'm going to try to finish it soon! Ace Attorney games are sooo good and make me feel so happy~

Three things I'm grateful for today:

  1. Super delicious bagel sandwich I made
  2. Getting Danganronpa 2 to work again
  3. Tap my Katamari, it's soooo cute

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

08/24/2016: First Post

(first post of the blog wooo)

This blog is just going to be a little diary for me since writing physically in my journal is too time consuming for now... I'd like to make my journal really cute and decorative but I don't have the energy at the moment lol. I'll be posting daily journals and photo albums filled with stuff from my personal life as something for me to easily look back to in the future. It'll be nice!

This week is my last week off before fall semester starts again, so I've been working more hours at the office to make some extra money while I can. I've been wanting to work 9-3pm, and I have, but my coworkers have been breathing down my neck and bugging me about how long I work. Most of them usually work until closing, but I have the privilege since I'm related to the owner/doctor to choose how many hours a week I work. I want to work 9-3pm so I can have time afterwards in my day to hang out with my friends, boyfriend, family, or just relax by myself. Buuuut... My coworkers keep asking me why I'm only working until 3 and that I should work until 5 to make more money and yada yada and ugh. I don't know what to say to them, but I'm starting to care less about what they think about my hours. I'm just getting annoyed at them bugging me about my work schedule. Can they pleeeease just mind their own business? I'm working until 3 tomorrow so I can go pick up my paycheck and still be able to talk to my aunt/boss before she leaves, but I'm sure when my coworkers ask they'll keep pestering me. My fake ass excuse is that I'm going to a therapist appointment at 4, but I kind of don't want them to think I'm avoiding my job. Whatever...

I've been trying to get fit again for my trip to Costa Rica with Adam, my boyfriend, and his family so I can look nice in my new bikini. I watch how many calories I have in a day now and it's crazy realizing how much I overeat in a day... I'm using myfitnesspal to track my food and weight and I made my goal to lose 1/2 a pound a week and to reach a goal weight of 120 lbs. Last weigh in I was 125.1 and I haven't checked since! I'm going to recheck again on Sunday. To gain muscle and stamina, I've been trying to walk more steps and gradually start running. I also do yoga and calisthenics in the morning and the evening. Of course, I'll do work outs when I can! It's been a little tough this week since I started all of this this week and I've been feeling hungry because of it. I'm going to try to eat healthier foods that will keep me full longer.

I'm not seeing Adam until Friday and I haven't seen him since Monday, so we're trying to call each other every night to keep the communication up. It's also good practice for when he moves into UCLA. I didn't dwell on how much I missed him today, which is progress! I'm trying to be less needy in our relationship and become more independent. I'm trying to go from seeing him from 4-5 times a week to 3 times a week until eventually it's 1 time a week. The transition is slow but definitely happening!

Three things I'm grateful for from today:

  1. The sheet masks Mom bought me 
  2. The strawberry acai refresher my coworker bought me
  3. Wednesday night yoga lessons